Constant Changes?

If anyone asked me what has been going on recently in my life, my response would be, "Changes. Constant changes."

Last January, I was in the States, celebrating the New Year with Aaron's family. February and March found me back in Singapore, working on team projects, competitions, and our FY closing. April was fun-filled, with company trips and event kick-offs. May saw me winding down my entire twenty-one years in Singapore. There was packing to do, closing of accounts, goodbyes to be said. June 2nd, I flew back to St. Louis to be with my beloved. With help from his family, we were able to plan our wedding in all of four weeks.

July was a month of catalytic change. I left girlhood forever when we got married. There were new discoveries to make, new roles to embrace. I learned more about myself in that one month than I did in all my teenage years put together.

Then came August. Aaron graduated from UMSL, and we moved. Another whole new state, new town, new place. New responsibilities to assume, new ideas to embrace.

It's hard to believe that September crept up on us, and even now is almost gone. It seems as if school just started yesterday, that life has just settled into some sort of normality for us.

I feel very much alive... and dead. Aaron's intense love for me warms my heart, and shelters me with an aura of protecting kindness that I have been missing for the past two years. Yet, even that does not replace the ache that loss of fellowship with other loved ones brought.

I sometimes wonder if I am able to stay true to all the principles I call my own. Take away all the extenuating circumstances and the short term goals that drove me, and do I... fail? Will I?

The enormality of the changes in the past eight months has literally shaken my world. Though many of those changes were for the better, I can't say I care to live the rest of them over again. While all that has transpired does translate into growth, the more I learn, the less qualified l feel I am, of being equal to any new task ahead.

And yet, despite me being who I am, and the people around me being who they are... He has assured us,

"...be content... I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever" ~ Hebrews 13:5-6,8

Our God is too wonderful for words.

~ Mrs. Arcfide